culture paints the idea that to be the ideal woman you need to be caring and nurturing, yet not sensitive or emotional. you need to invest your heart into things you care about, but crying over something makes you crazy. you should be able to be someone who loves unconditionally but please don’t take it overboard when it’s inconvenient for someone else to manage your “messy feelings.”
a lot of people have made me feel less than in my life because i am a sensitive and emotional woman. people make comments like, “ew i hate when girls cry,” “stop making such a big deal of out it,” or my favorite “i could never date someone who is sensitive.”
what i have to say is, being sensitive, emotional and caring “too much” is actually a God-given strength, and something that is GREATLY needed in this world.
like I said earlier, a lot of people have made me feel bad about who i am over the years because I am sensitive, empathetic, or because i feel things too much and often end up crying over things people might see as dumb (for example, homeless dogs. every time) i don’t ever cry or get upset or emotional over something for attention, in fact, it’s usually the opposite. things move me so deeply that i KNOW aren’t that big of a deal but i can’t help my eyes from welling up with tears.
hearing of the vegas shooting had me sitting in my car outside the office for 15 minutes. i STILL get choked up when we reminisce on 79 people accepting Jesus at our church on September 10th. and when one of my friends doesn’t text me that they got home safely, i’m in a state of constant anxiety until i hear from them. relatable?
the world tells me to stop being like this. that i’m being a burden when i show my emotions. that “men don’t like girls who cry too much.” that it’s unattractive and annoying. that girls who don’t care about anything are way more fun. even in the christian culture, theres a picture painted that women should be “strong” and “unshakeable.”
i’m here to stick up for myself. i’m here to tell you that my sensitivity is my god-given strength. that i take pride in my emotions, and my ability to care deeply. that it’s not unattractive, it’s actually admirable. and caring deeply about people makes NO difference in how fun someone is.
i’m really sick of men saying that they want a girlfriend who is unemotional because they don’t want to “deal with it.” to that i say,
if you want an unemotional girlfriend, i’m sure you will love having an unemotional wife. i’m sure you will love her lack of passion. i’m sure you will love her blank stare and monotonous “sure” when you ask her to be your bride. i’m sure you will love the way she cares for your children, ignores you on your sick days, and forgets every little anniversary the two of you share. will she cultivate a life-giving home, be someone you feel warm around, and become someone you want to share your most intimate moments with? no! men need deep love as much as women, and longing for a woman who you don’t have to “deal with” is actually just being counteractive to what you probably will what when it comes to having a wife, and especially when it comes to who will be the future mother of your children.
so stop telling women to stop caring about things! caring is such a beautiful quality and was given to us by the Lord so we could use it to love his children well.
we recently took a test at church called strength finders. it was an in-depth test that analyzed the deepest aspects of who you are as a person. the number one strength i had was empathy. aka you feel things other people are feeling as if it were you feeling it.
i never thought of this as a strength. i always thought this was something i should try to change or “get rid of” since it was so annoying to people. but after realizing that it really is a gift from the Lord and that He chose me to give this special gift to, it changed everything for me.
sure, emotional and sensitive people may be annoying to you, but do you want to talk to a stone-hearted person after your long-term boyfriend broke up with you? who do you call when you’ve just heard the worst news you’ve ever gotten? is it someone who will tell you your feelings are invalid? or someone who will understand where you are coming from, feel what you are feeling and cry alongside you?
don’t you want to be friends with someone who remembers your favorite flavor of starbursts and always saves them for you at the bottom of the bag? someone who will encourage you before a big test and brag about you? or do you want to be friends with someone who doesn’t even remember your birthday and shoots you an “hbd” text three weeks later?
now, i’m not saying everyone who isn’t sensitive is a horrible friend or person- but that’s what people make seem attractive and cool! people act like it is SO cool not to care, not make a big deal out of anything, and to act like people mean nothing to you! i’m serious! i’ve literally heard people say “yeah, birthdays are just a day to make a big deal about someone it’s so stupid.” like, yeah it is a day to make a big deal out of someone! what's wrong with celebrating your friends and making them feel special for a day? that's literally what we are called to do- celebrate people. make them feel that they matter.
why the HECK are we doing this? we are in a world in such desperate need of love, and we are making the people who are gifted with empathy feel like they are dramatic annoyances to the world! WHY DO WE DO THAT. it’s so so sad.
so many women that i know feel the same way as me. they are afraid to ask the boys in their life to call them ONCE a week because they are afraid of coming off “too emotionally needy.” WHAT? i watch girls act like everything is cool until they drink too much at a college house party and end up crying their eyes out over something they never came to anyone with sober in fear of being “annoying.”
we need people in this world to be sensitive, caring, empathic but STILL STRONG women. you are allowed to be strong in your sensitivity. you are allowed to know how valuable you are even when the world sees you as weak. you were created with a beautiful purpose; to be a friend, a caretaker, a nurturer, a confidant, a girlfriend, wife & mother that loves her family tirelessly and feels the deep pain and happiness of those she surrounds herself with.
you were created to share tears, you were created to be the person who people can call at 3 am, you were created to be a helper, a secret keeper, an encourager, and a gorgeous bundle of love. your empathy is not a weakness. you are not asking too much that someone understand you. the LORD declares that you are made perfect in His image. take comfort in the fact that Jesus feels everything much deeper than you do. His heart breaks when his children feel pain and SOARS when they experience true joy! Jesus was not and is not afraid to love, why are we?
and by the way it takes a man to love a woman who feels deeply. so i understand why boys don’t want to get involved. ;)
have a good week! i love you guys.